I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
