I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
