First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
