just come out here and I will go home with you...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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