Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
