plz talk dirty to me
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
