i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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