First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
