Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
