About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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