morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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