Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
