the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
