Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Randomize
