I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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