hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
