Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
