Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
