Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
