Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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