Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
