...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
