she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
