just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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