so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Randomize
