And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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