I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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