Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
