6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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