Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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