She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
