I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
