I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
someone owes me an orgasm
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
