That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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