Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
