All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
