i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
