so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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