I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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