It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
