I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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