Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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