when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
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Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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