I hate all girls vehemently.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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