There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
So much Jack, so little girl.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
