i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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