I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
