my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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