Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(301): View more from Maryland

i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.

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(207): View more from Maine

I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(804): View more from Virginia

she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.

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(815): View more from Illinois

should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?

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(843): View more from South Carolina

when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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(516): View more from New York

He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.

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(440): View more from Ohio

All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in

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