i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.