I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
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Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.