I'm eating all of the evidence.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
