k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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