you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
