I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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