this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
