She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
