just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
