i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
