Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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