my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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