I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
My orgasm happened in two different decades
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
